When You Work for the Church

A number of months ago, I received a request to review a collection of sermons by Gary Harder along with Lydia Neufeld Harder. I’ve known them both for years—Gary as a pastor, Lydia as a theologian, as partners together in life and ministry, raising their children together, participating in denominational gatherings, attending academic conferences, serving as co-interim pastors. I’ve reviewed some of their other books: The Pastor-Congregation Ministry Duet by Gary Harder and The Challenge Is in the Naming by Lydia Neufeld Harder.

But this time, instead of hearing directly from Gary and Lydia, the request came from their publisher, Jonathan Seiling of Gelassenheit Publications. They had been planning to launch the new book, but Gary had a sudden stroke, was diagnosed with advanced cancer, and entered palliative care. Yet even then, Gary was eager for people to know about the book, and Gary and Lydia had asked Jonathan to contact me. He said it would be “an enormous gift to them” if I would review it on my website.

Of course, I readily agreed, and sent a message back to Gary and Lydia through Jonathan. I prayed for comfort, peace, and hope for them and for their family especially at that time.

I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to follow through on reading and reviewing their book before Gary passed from this life to the next. I would have loved talking with both of them about it. But knowing Gary and Lydia and the grace they have shown throughout their lives, I know that they would understand how it’s taken me some time to read and respond. I’m glad now to be able to share a few thoughts on their bold, balanced, and deeply pastoral book.

Bold

As Dr. Carol Penner (Director of Theological Studies, Conrad Grebel University College) notes in her Foreword to the book:

The sermons span a time period when immense social changes were happening in North America around gender, power and relationships. As the book unfolded, I was continually amazed at Gary and Lydia’s courage to preach on risky and controversial subjects. Some of the sermons are so incisive, it would be challenging to preach them even today.

Balanced

In an essay on homosexuality from 2003, Gary wrote:

I am more on the “open” and “including” side of the debate. Articles I have published and comments I have made publicly over a number of years would indicate this.

At the same time, Gary was very aware of his own biases and clearly outlined them in his essay. He also discussed the challenges of reading and interpreting Scripture both for those who are more “open” and those who are more “closed.”

In a sermon on King David’s abuse of Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11:1–5, 12:1–9), Gary speaks of the abuse of power and the need for confession and repentance. But he also addresses the longing for forgiveness and the need for healing, including this caveat:

We can look to God for forgiveness. But let’s not expect or demand forgiveness from those we have deeply wounded. We cannot press the Bathshebas of this world for quick forgiveness. Pressing them may further wound them.

Deeply Pastoral

I knew Gary as a lifelong pastor, and his love and care for the church shine throughout this book. I appreciate the way he could express his own views, yet also respect the views of others. He writes:

I knew it would be controversial. Maybe preaching about sex always is. But I hadn’t quite prepared myself for this particular broadside. The congregation was already aware, some twenty years ago, that I was advocating for the inclusion of gays in the church. But to do so in a sermon—a biblically-based sermon—was perhaps the last straw for this congregant. “Gary, that is the worst sermon I have ever heard you preach. I am angry.” After we both calmed down a bit, we agreed to go golfing together and then sit down over coffee and hash out our differences. And we did. Well, not quite. Neither of us changed our perspective on the church’s response to same-sex relationships. But we kept our relationship intact and our respect for each other. And later, when he was dying, he clearly wanted me to pray wth him and to conduct his funeral.

Whatever you might think of the issues surrounding sex, whether you think of yourself as open, closed, or bristle at such labels, for all our longing for clarity and certainty, may we learn to listen well to one another and respond with respect and kindness. Thank you, Gary, for demonstrating that.

Thank you, Gary and Lydia and Gelassenheit Publications for providing me with a complimentary copy of this bold, balanced, and deeply pastoral book. As always, the choice to review and any opinions expressed are my own. For more information and to download the table of contents, please see Preaching Sex: on love, intimacy, power, abuse by Gary Harder with Lydia Neufeld Harder (Gelassenheit Publications, 2024).