When You Work for the Church

Mesothelioma is a type of cancer caused by asbestos exposure. The Mesothelioma Center is a patient advocate group that seeks to raise awareness and provides a symptom guide and other information here. They also provide a helpful grief guide available as a free download. I found their suggestions for supporting others who are grieving especially helpful, so am sharing these below with permission. I pray this will help raise awareness in the church and encourage us as we come alongside those who are grieving.

Supporting Others Who Are Grieving

from The Mesothelioma Center

When someone you love passes away, it often means others in your family or circle of friends may also be grieving. You may find yourself trying to support others while you are grieving yourself. It is important to show others you are there for them during a difficult time.

Ways to show support include:

• Listening to the grieving person. Taking time to listen can go a long way. Some people may not be looking for advice but rather an open ear to vent their feelings. Let the grieving person lead the conversation. Sometimes they may not want to talk about their feelings or the loved one they lost and instead discuss hobbies, sports, or entertainment.
• Accepting all feelings. Acknowledging grief reactions lets the person know the emotions are natural and necessary. You should never pass judgment on how well a person is coping with a loss.
• Respecting an individual’s needs. Offer to be there for them but accept if they wish to spend time alone. It is important to respect their need for privacy.
• Understanding cultural and religious differences. Many cultures have different traditions and rituals when a person dies. It is important to respect perspectives about illness and death that may differ from your own.

Although advice and sentiments are sometimes warranted, you should err on the side of caution and avoid using clichés at all costs.

What not to say:

• “Well at least you knew they were dying.”
• “You need to be strong for your kids.”
• “God works in mysterious ways.”
• “They lived a long life.”
• “Only the good ones die young.”
• “You need to move past this. You should be over this by now.”
• “I know how you feel.”

Supporting friends and family who are grieving can also be a way to cope with your own emotions. Discussing feelings and sharing memories with other people going through a similar situation can be cathartic and help advance the healing process.