When You Work for the Church

Mentor: an experienced and trusted adviser
Spiritual Formation: growing a deeper connection with God and becoming more Christ-like

Whether you’re familiar with these terms or not, if you work for the church in any way whether employed or as a volunteer, if you’re a parent or grandparent or older sibling, you are uniquely positioned to be a spiritual formation mentor, so please read on. . . .

Last year I was invited to serve as a spiritual formation mentor for a pastor entering a Doctor of Ministry program.

What??

My husband had been a mentor as part of our congregation’s mentoring program that paired youth with adults. Business and other organizations sometimes have formal mentoring programs to support and nurture new employees. But the expression spiritual formation mentor was new to me. What did that mean, and was I ready to take on this new role for a pastor pursuing an advanced degree that I had never taken myself?

I was curious to learn more, so I read the documents provided by the seminary. I did some of my own research on mentoring and spiritual formation. I prayed for God’s guidance and read about spiritual mentors in Scripture—Elijah and his successor Elisha who continued his prophetic ministry, Timothy’s grandmother Lois and mother Eunice who had nurtured Timothy in the faith. I had a wonderful first meeting with the Doctor of Ministry student who served both as a congregational pastor and a part-time conference minister. As she shared some of her personal story and how she hoped to continue growing, I could identify with her journey.

Simply put, a spiritual formation mentor helps others attend to their spiritual growth. Mentoring may be a formal relationship with a job description and a list of responsibilities as part of a church or seminary program. Or it may be less formal as parents raise their children,  nurture their spiritual growth, and pray for them. If you’re a parent, grandparent, or great-grandparent, an older brother or sister, Sunday school teacher, youth leader, a senior, a church elder, a pastor—you are already uniquely positioned as a spiritual formation mentor, even if you’ve never thought of yourself that way or have never heard of the term before.

Here are four basics that I’m learning that I hope will encourage you in your role as a spiritual formation mentor.

A spiritual mentor listens to God.

When I was asked to consider being a spiritual formation mentor for a Doctor of Ministry student, I initially hesitated. Although I had been a pastor for over 25 years and have a Master of Christian Studies, I don’t have a traditional divinity degree or a doctorate. “If you’re looking for someone with an advanced degree and all of the academic qualifications in spiritual formation, that’s not me,” I said.

But my student had already submitted my name and received approval from the seminary if I would say yes. Not all mentors have advanced degrees or specialized training. Mentors are not expected to have all of the answers to life’s questions. No one does. Mentors are not perfect. But good mentors have life experience and a healthy relationship with God. Good mentors listen to God for guidance in their own lives and as they seek to mentor others.

A spiritual mentor listens carefully to the person being mentored.

A spiritual formation mentor comes alongside the one being mentored and pays attention to who the person is becoming. Listen carefully to the specific situations and challenges faced by your mentees: personal circumstances, family, friends, school, technology, work, church, ministry, and more. What are their pressure points and growing edges?

How has God already been growing this precious soul? Be genuinely interested. Ask good questions. Know that it is a gift to be involved in someone else’s life. In humility and prayer, remember that it is God—not the spiritual formation mentor—who gives the growth.

A spiritual mentor serves as part of a team.

As a spiritual formation mentor, I’m part of a mentoring group that includes a faculty adviser from the seminary and a professional mentor who is a pastor and conference minister. We meet together with our student to review and discuss her academic work, to check in on how she’s doing and how we might pray for her.

Even in mentoring programs that focus on one-to-one meetings, mentors are part of a team. My husband and his menteen would enjoy mini-golf and other activities on their own, but they also had group activities with all of the mentors and teens together. We had a good relationship with the menteen’s parents and other family members. We had a youth pastor who provided overall leadership. Spiritual formation does not happen in a vacuum, and a mentor does not bear responsibility alone.

A spiritual mentor both gives and receives.

In what ways are you already serving as a spiritual formation mentor? May you listen to God, listen to those you mentor, work with a team, continue to pray, and give thanks as God gives the growth. May you be authentic, honest, and lean on God when you feel uncertain or overwhelmed in the face of your responsibilities.

Who has been a spiritual formation mentor to you? In what ways do you still need someone to come alongside you, to listen carefully, to pray with and for you, and to cheer you on? May God bring the people you need into your life. May Jesus himself mentor you through the ongoing work of the Holy Spirit, and may you continue to grow and flourish.

An earlier version of this article was published in Light magazine.